


If We Can Call Them Friends

by heyjupiter



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-30
Updated: 2011-06-30
Packaged: 2017-10-20 21:31:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyjupiter/pseuds/heyjupiter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five phone conversations between Erik and Charles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If We Can Call Them Friends

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Kink Bingo prompt "phone sex." Title is from "Tables and Chairs" by Andrew Bird. Call #1 and #2 are set during XMFC, Call #3 is immediately XMFC, Call #4 is set just before Origins: Wolverine, and Call #5 is set just before X1.

_If we can call them friends then we can call them on their telephones  
And they won't pretend that they're too busy or they're not alone  
And if we can call them friends then we can call  
Holler at them down these hallowed halls  
Just don't let the human factor fail to be a factor  
At all_  
\-- Andrew Bird, "Tables and Chairs"

1;  
"Erik, can you come down to the lab?"

"Is everything all right, Charles?"

"Yes, everything is splendid! Hank has put the finishing touches on that machine he's been working on."

"And it works?"

"I don't know. I--we wanted to wait for you, to test it."

"You know, I've looked over his schema and it seems like it might be--unsafe."

"We'll be careful, Erik. Just come down to the lab. What? I can hear you laughing."

"Just your voice. You sound like a child, waiting ever-so-impatiently for Christmas morning."

"This could be better than Christmas--better than any holiday, Erik! Imagine, we could find more mutants. More people like us. There could be thousands of us."

"I find that number to be a overly-optimistic. Surely we would have encountered others by chance if there were really so many mutants."

"I suppose so. Still! We won't know until we look."

"Charles... I know you are excited. But I would prefer... I would prefer if you would wait to try it out, until I can look at the machine."

"You don't trust Hank? He's a genius."

"He may be a genius, but he--I've looked at his plans, Charles, and that machine could kill you. Or it could kill the other mutants. I am not at all sure that Hank fully understands what it is he has built."

"All right, Erik, all right. Of course you can look over Cerebro before I use it."

"It's just that if anything--I'm coming down to the lab now."

"We'll wait for you."

2;  
"Erik, are you ready for dinner?"

"You just called to ask me if I'm ready for dinner?"

"... is there a problem with this connection?"

"No, no, I just... you know, your room is literally right next door to mine. And you're a telepath."

"I suppose it's force of habit. Do you want dinner or not, Erik?"

"Have you already invited Angel to dine with us?"

"She called me. She's having dinner with some friends before she leaves for Washington, to say goodbye."

"She won't tell them where she's going, will she?"

"She's not stupid."

"Let us hope that she isn't."

"It's also possible that she won't remember where she's going until she gets back to the hotel. She knows she has a new job that she's excited about, and that is enough."

"Aha. So she might be stupid, but you aren't?"

"I wouldn't say it quite like that."

"We could get room service."

"Does this hotel even have room service? Would it be any good if it did?"

"I'm sure it will be edible. Or we could get something from that deli down the street. We could get roast beef sandwiches and kosher dill pickles."

"That would be fine."

"I could lick mustard off of you."

"Erik! Really."

"I could. And you wouldn't know which made you more uncomfortable, having my tongue on your mouth or having mustard on your face."

"Erik..."

"The answer is the mustard, Charles. You would hate having mustard on your face, and you know it. I would lick it off you, and then I would lick your collarbone. I'd unbutton your incredibly expensive tailored shirt. I'd slide my hands down your chest--have you hung up on me? … Ah, I see you've remembered that your room is next door to mine."

3;  
"Erik. I didn't think you'd call. Erik? Are you still there?"

"Raven said you were out of the hospital. She said--said you looked better."

"But Raven hasn't been--oh. Of course."

"Are you all right?"

"Well, it's doubtful I'll ever play rugby again."

"... Did you ever play rugby?"

"Once. I got a black eye. Bloody violent game, rugby. Never cared for it."

"Charles, you sound... different."

"I am taking rather a lot of opiates at the moment. It's wonderful. Oh, Erik, won't you come back? I'm starting a school here. I miss you."

"Charles, I don't think you are in your right mind."

"Perhaps this is what my right mind sounds like. Please, Erik, I love you. And I know that you loved me. I can read your mind, you know."

"You _could_ read my mind."

"Oh, yes, you have Shaw's helmet now. It looked simply ridiculous on you, Erik, I must say."

"Perhaps. But it works."

"Killing me would also work, and it would look far less silly."

"Charles, you know I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Of course, of course. Erik, just come back. It can be like it was before. We can work together, plan together, sleep together."

"No, Charles, it cannot be like it was before. You... you're in a wheelchair."

"And you are in a helmet. But still, Erik, no one has ever understood me like you. And anyway, my cock still works."

"Charles?"

"I am just telling you. My legs don't work, but fortunately my cock does. If perhaps that was why--"

"Charles, you know perfectly well that I am staying far away from you for reasons that have nothing to do with your injury."

"I love you, Erik. Erik? Are you there? I wish you'd come back."

"I love you, Charles. Goodbye."

"Erik? Erik? Erik?"

4;  
"Erik. It has been a while, old friend."

"Indeed."

"Are--how are you?"

"Let us not pretend that this is a social call. I have called to ask what information you have about a man named William Stryker."

"Stryker? The name doesn't ring a bell."

"It should. He's taking mutant children. Experimenting on them."

"Oh, Erik."

"He must be stopped. He--we aren't sure exactly what it is he is doing to these young mutants, but I am certain that--that it is unpleasant."

"What do you know about him?"

"Rumors, mostly. Raven found a young man in New Orleans who we have heard escaped from Stryker, but he refused to talk to her. He knocked her through a wall and fled."

"Is she all right?"

"Yes. But, Charles, you must find him. You must find where he's keeping these mutants, and you must help them."

"Yes. Of course I will."

"He works for the government, Charles. The Army, we think."

"Have you spoken to Moira? Oh, of course you haven't."

"Indeed not."

"I am glad you called me."

"I called for the sake of those children, not for you, Charles."

"Of course."

"Goodbye, Charles."

"Goodbye, Erik."

5;  
"Erik, I thought I might hear from you."

"It's happening, Charles. They are coming for us."

"It's only a hearing."

"It's the first step. Under Hitler, the first step was that we had to carry our papers with us at all times. Here--they must first make papers for us. That is what the Mutant Registration Act is about."

"It has not yet come to pass."

"You could keep it from passing, Charles. I know you could."

"Erik, I cannot brainwash the entire United States Congress."

"You would only have to do a majority."

"Erik, that is not funny."

"Whyever would you think I was joking?"

"Why don't you ask Emma?"

"I haven't seen Emma in ages. Life with the Brotherhood was... well, let us say it did not allow her the lifestyle Emma Frost felt she deserved."

"Ah."

"Were you jealous, Charles? You know she was never half the telepath you are. And she wasn't nearly as good in bed as you were."

"No, Erik, I am not jealous of Emma Frost."

"Good. You know, she was a very selfish lover. Not like you, Charles, with that mouth of yours. But unlike you, she had no qualms about using her gifts in bed."

"Erik, I work at a high school. I have near-infinite patience and I will not play whatever game you are trying to play with me."

"Oh? Then hang up the phone. … So, Charles, why don't we meet at the Senate hearing? We could fuck on the floor of the House and you could make it so no one would even notice, couldn't you?"

"I could do a lot of things, Erik."

"But you won't, will you?"

"... I will see you at the hearing, old friend."


End file.
